1. The first few moments of your morning are spent wondering if you actually need a job, or if you could live off selling all your belongings from the comfort of your laptop.
2. You immediately begin to count down to the next chance that you will have to climb back into the comfort of your bed.
3. You check your phone, hoping to wake up gradually while surfing the internet, however you are not prepared for the incredibly bright light that little screen can pack.
4. Once you have discarded the bright devil, returning again to the dark comfort of your bed your mind begins to run through every little detail of each bad decision as well as the bad decisions you are sure you are going to make in the near future.
5. Your snooze button becomes both your best best friend and your biggest enemy all at the same time.
6. Regardless of the time of year, the air around your bed appears to be infinitely colder than the warmth of your covers.
7. Not only is your bed warm, but its soft comfort is unmatched by anything else in your life.
8. While your night hawk self may have set some lofty goals to work towards your health and well-being, morning you isn’t having it!
9. There is no greater struggle than trying to get yourself dressed, even if you picked out your outfit the night before. You momentarily entertain the thought of showing up to work in your pajamas.
10. Commuting takes far more energy and focus than you can imagine harnessing at this ungodly hour.
11. The only benefit to a long commute is your ability to blame your late arrival on bad traffic rather than admitting to amount of time it took you to get up and moving.
12. On the rare occasion that you are up and on the road with 5 minutes to spare you are able to drive through your favorite coffee shop to pick up a much needed reward.
13. If you don’t have time for the coffee shop, and must resort to the office coffee pot, it is already cold. You choke it down, unable to function without the bitter fuel.
14. The worst possible scenario upon walking into the office is discovering that one of the ‘morning people’ scheduled a meeting to start the day.
15. You are somehow expected to make small talk with others around the office, a concept you can’t seem to understand.
16. You spend a great deal of your day trying to understand why society is so determined to force you to conform to being a morning person.
17. You often debate just what you could achieve if only you could line up your ideal sleep schedule with the demands of society.
18. However most days you are just content to make it through the day unscathed.
19. The idea that this will be the daily routine of your life until you retire is so depressing you try to push it from your mind.
20. You can no longer remember what it actually feels like to face a day well rested.
21. On the rare occasion that the gods smile down on you and you are blessed with a later start time, you become a completely different person.
22. If you live with a morning person, you have to remind yourself from time that a jumpsuit and a jail cell are not worth acting on the thoughts that cross your mind.
23. You just begin to find your grove and reach your optimal period of alertness as bedtime approaches.
24. Your brain refuses to cooperate with your attempts to go to bed at a decent hour, determined to stay alert and active.
25. There is no greater moment in your week than climbing into bed on Friday night, knowing that Saturday means you don’t have to set an alarm.