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While infidelity is something a lot of people focus on there are things that can hurt much more than that in a relationship. Sometimes the things going on other than infidelity are much worse than you’d think.

When I think of betrayals that ruin a relationship I don’t often think of infidelity. That being because usually the relationships are already ruined before that happens. The following five betrayals are the ones that will tear relationships apart at the seams.

1. Putting your wants and needs above your partners.

This is something that will only hold you two back. If someone is only thinking of their well-being and not looking out for their partner things will never work. It hurts to know you don’t mean as much as you thought you did to your partner.

2. Emotional Cheating.

Flirty text messages, deep conversations, and having a real connection on a relationship level with someone who is not a part of your relationship can and will damn your relationship. This is more damaging than an actual affair because it is more than knowing someone on just a physical level. You are emotionally involved with this other person.

3. Not taking up for your partner when you should.

You two are a team. You both should have each other’s backs. If someone makes a rude remark about your woman and you stand there without saying anything she is going to be crushed. You should take up for your partner, no one should feel like it is okay to shit talk the love of your life in your presence, not even your mother.

4. Lying about stupid things.

Lying, in general, is a terrible idea. It makes you untrustworthy. This is the most basic violation of a person’s human rights. Being caught in a lie will ruin everything so why lie in the first place?

5. Using your partner’s insecurities against them.

This is abusive, low, and disgusting. Manipulators will do this time and time again. This hurts so much more than I can explain.

If you are in a relationship and the walls are closing in around you crumbling, just get out. There is no sense in sticking around when the person who was supposed to be there for you bulldozed the foundation. You deserve better.