While we all may display various narcissistic traits, being a full-blown narcissist is an entirely different scenario. And if you have ever had to deal with one, you are probably well aware of how difficult it can be.
However, there are a number of tactics that you can use that will prove useful when dealing with a narcissist in your life. According to a recent psychiatric study, the biggest impact that a narcissist can have on the people around them is the constant suffering the encounter. Sadly, this is much of how to narcissist works, as they thrive off of making you just an extension of themselves, instead of understanding that you have feelings and emotions. Oftentimes, even when they do know that they are affecting you, it only brings them joy, and the ones they love can quickly become their victims.
So how exactly do you begin ‘handling’ the narcissist in your life? Well according to science, it truly isn’t that difficult.
1. Understand What Type of Narcissist You Are Dealing With
There are a variety of narcissists that you will encounter throughout life. According to Psychology Today, there are grandiose narcissists that are more in your face about their superiority, and then there are more covert narcissists, who will hide various traits of their mental illness to keep you close.
2. If You Can Remove them From Your Life DO IT
While approaching them, and playing their game can be done, if you can avoid them, that is the best approach. You can’t change them, no matter how hard you try. And the longer they stay in your life, the more abuse you will endure. They may even want to change, but 99% of the time, it will not happen. So spare yourself.
3. Become a Brown Noser
You may be scoffing at me right about now, but hear me out. According to clinical psychologist Al Bernstein, you should kiss up, or shut up until you are able to get away from them. Pretend as though things are fine, and that you have no intentions of leaving them. Then, run for the damn hills, and never look back!
If it is a boss or someone that you have to deal with, just act interested as long as necessary, and agree with them as they talk about how wonderful they are. Otherwise, just be quiet. Don’t antagonize them, or else, you will be destroyed.
4. Ask Them “What Would People Think?”
While they don’t have regrets or feel remorse, they do want to make appearances for other people. If you notice them doing something outlandish or abusive, turn the situation around and make them think about their appearances based on their actions.
5. Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
Set clear rules and boundaries, and then explain how you will react when your boundaries are pushed. If and when they are, do exactly as you had threatened, and don’t back down.
6. Understand How to Move On
When you are dealing with a narcissist, you should understand that you can’t ever change them. And while you may accept them for now, there may come a day when they have gone too far. Do not accept this type of abuse. They will twist your mind sideways, appeal to your heart and empathy and use you until you can’t be used anymore. Have a clear line envisioned and if they cross it, have a backup plan to leave. This may sound cruel, however, you have to protect yourself when it comes to toxic people.
7. Understand When to Offer Help
Narcissism is a personality disorder that sometimes merits treatment. If the narcissist is open to treatment and help, then you should be willing to assist them in this endeavor if you plan to have them in your life. If you know they need it and offer it to no avail, it may be time to count your losses and move on. If someone doesn’t want to help themselves you can’t force them to.