Searching for happiness does not always mean that you will find it. We are always looking for the wrong things in the wrong places.
The answers you seek are not going to be found sprawled out on a bed of roses, they are going to be hidden deep down inside the darkness that is your fears and pain. The only way to achieve true happiness is through pain, you cannot cut corners, The only good that comes from searching for happiness is meaning. False meaning but still meaning nonetheless.
No matter how much you run from pain or try to ignore it, it never goes away. You see, pain is a messenger it shows us what we need in order to bring about wholeness. Pain is a rude awakening that lets you know something needs to be changed. Embracing the pain and working through it rather than around it is the only way to find happiness.
We have to be willing to search through the darkness and face all the things we do not want to face if we want to be happy. When we become in pain we need to hold it, allow it to happen, be aware of it. We have to stop avoiding it. Realize that these thoughts and feelings are not who you are. We are not our thoughts and feelings. These things are just surges of energy and we cannot control whether we are happy or not all the time.
If you do these things you will be creating an inner space for your happiness to take root. Only through the darkness can you find the light again. Pain is not a problem it is a helping hand. The way we react to pain defines us. We are only our best when we have been through our worst.
If you can become aware of what triggers your pain this will be much easier to handle. In this, you must practice meditation and mindfulness. You will need to do this daily, I promise it will be worth it. Happiness is not as far away as you might think. Take a trip into the darkness and see what you find.