A Nerd Tried to Rewrite ’50 Shades of Grey’ and It’s Better than the Original
Since ’50 Shades of Grey’ was released, middle aged housewives have been writhing about every word Christian Grey spoke. However, when this nerd took a try at rewriting it in a series of tweets, he made it palatable for the rest of us.
But, beware, you will be laughing so hard, you may need to use a safe word.
Prepare to be talked ‘nerdy’ to.
He was very careful during bondage sessions. He always used a safe word that contained upper and lower case letters and at least one number.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) September 9, 2015
‘How do you feel about chains?’ she whispered, stroking his chest.
He gulped. ‘I quite like Pizza Hut but I’m not so keen on McDonalds.’— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) April 17, 2016
‘Don’t hold back,’ she said. ‘I like it rough.’
‘OK,’ he said, and put on the extended version of Phantom Menace with director’s commentary.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) April 16, 2016
‘Mmmm, let’s play doctors,’ she whispered seductively.
‘All right,’ he said. ‘You be Doctor Who and I’ll be Doctor Strange.’#DoctorStrange— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) April 13, 2016
They tried it standing up, sitting down and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good – they just couldn’t get a decent wi-fi signal.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) April 8, 2016
Despite his innocent asthmatic public image, he was a real snake in the bedroom.
Hufflepuff in the streets, Slytherin in the sheets . . .— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) April 8, 2016
‘So,’ she said, entering his bedroom, ‘This is where the magic happens.’
‘Oh yes,’ he smiled, putting on his Harry Potter glasses and cloak.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) April 7, 2016
She said she was turned on by men who took risks . . .
So he took the plastic off his iPhone screen.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) April 1, 2016
‘I’m all yours tonight!’ she cried, ‘Do something to me you’d never normally dare do to a woman!’
‘All right’ he said, and made eye contact.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) March 30, 2016
She writhed on the floor, squealing at the extreme pain he had inflicted on her. ‘I thought you said you’d put all your Lego bricks away!’
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) September 10, 2015
‘Do you prefer going on top or underneath?’ he asked, with a glint in his eye.
‘It’s up to you,’ she replied. ‘It’s your bunk bed.’— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) September 17, 2015
‘So,’ he asked, revealing the erect wood between his legs, ‘Are you ready to play?’
‘Play what?’ she asked, nervously.
‘Quidditch,’ he said.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) February 26, 2016
She squirmed as he leaned over and whispered softly in her ear.
‘Asdfg . . . hjkl . . . uiop.’
She loved it when he talked qwerty.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) March 11, 2016
His tongue explored the hole before probing deeper until she couldn’t take any more.
‘Would you just eat your donut already?’#FridayFeeling— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) March 18, 2016
His tongue explored the hole before probing deeper until she couldn’t take any more.
‘Would you just eat your donut already?’#FridayFeeling— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) March 18, 2016
If you needed a laugh, your welcome. Unfortunately, there will be no room for spanking after you’ve read this, as you have probably effectively laughed your ass off. This guy has absolutely won Twitter. And if you haven’t gotten enough, yet, take a gander at his page devoted to his wonderful parody: 50 Nerds of Grey. It doesn’t get much better than this.