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While you may not be familiar with the term gaslighting it is a very real thing. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that causes the victim to question their own feelings and even their sanity in some cases.

Gaslighting gives the abuser the power to control everything, literally. The term itself comes from a play called Gaslight in which a husband does his best to drive his wife insane by dimming the lights in their home. Each time that this happens she mentions it and he denies noticing any sort of change, making her question herself.

This is something that in most relationships happens gradually. If you’re familiar with the phrases “You’re making that up” or You’re crazy, that never happened” you might be a victim yourself. Below you will find a list of seven signs that should help you to determine if you are dealing with gaslighting or not.

Signs you are being gaslighted:

1. You find yourself constantly apologizing to your significant other for tiny things that should not matter.

2. You feel as if you cannot do anything right.

3. You second guess yourself all the time.

4. You are not as happy as you used to be.

5. You keep secrets from those who care about you so that you will not have to explain things to them.

6. You are always being belittled even if it is in a joking manner.

7. You are unsure of why you are so unhappy.

8. You feel like you cannot do anything right no matter how hard you try.

9. Your partner refuses to listen to you.

10. Your partner makes you feel as if your needs and feelings are not important.

11. Your partner denies something you know happened.

This is not something you have to live with. If someone is abusing you in this way you can find the strength to do something about it. You deserve someone who will treat you as you should be. You are not crazy, you feelings do matter, you are amazing. Don’t let someone belittle you. There is nothing wrong with you and everything wrong with your abuser.