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Relationships involve a great deal of effort and compromise. You may believe that you have found Mr. Right only to find yourself second guessing the relationship and their commitment to you in the days, weeks and months that follow. One thing that women look for in a relationship is security, and when that feeling is missing, we find ourselves questioning whether it is worth staying, or whether we should be moving on.

From flirting with other women in front of us to being oddly secretive, there are a number of ways that men can create this feeling of insecurity, effectively pushing us further and further away. Here are 16 ways that men cause us to question the stability of our relationships:

  1. He is super secretive with his phone. He’s sitting over in the corner of the room, phone in hand. You know he’s been texting someone all day, but he refuses to tell you who and goes out of his way to make sure that you can’t see what is happening on the screen. I mean really, what is he hiding???
  2. He avoids introducing you to his friends and family. You’ve been together for a significant period of time, and you believe that the relationship is getting serious, however, he goes out of his way to hide you away from the people in his life. Is there a reason he doesn’t want you to meet his parents, or spend some time with his buddies?
  3. He begins to criticize your eating habits. There is nothing wrong with a woman with a healthy appetite! Regardless of how subtle or joking a comment may be if he begins to criticize your eating habits he runs the risk of leaving you feeling as though he is trying to tell you to lose weight.


  1. When his eyes regularly wander. If you are out with your man and he appears to take no notice at all that he has a gorgeous woman on his arm, instead checking out every woman who crosses his path. You can’t help but wonder what it is that these women have that you don’t…
  2. Going off the grid for nights out with the boys. While it is ok to spend time with friends, if he is consistently going out on the town, getting drunk and wild, and cutting off all communication it is going to make us question what is happening. After all, alcohol isn’t known for promoting good decisions!
  3. He has a history of being unfaithful. While you can usually look past mistakes and choices that happened in days gone by, it is hard to let go of the fact that he was, at some point, a cheater. The old saying goes ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ and you can’t help but shake the fact there may just be some truth to those words.


  1. He cancels plans with you regularly. If he is always canceling on you, he is going to make you feel as though you are not a priority in his life. You want to feel valued and respected, and that is only going to happen if he makes time for you in his life.
  2. When he doesn’t answer you but has obviously been on his phone. You haven’t heard from him all day despite trying to call and sending a couple (dozen) text messages, only to log onto Facebook and see that he’s been on posting pictures and chatting with other people. When a man brushes you off in this way you can’t help but wonder if he’s no longer interested.
  3. When he neglects you during social outings. If you go out with your friends or attend a big party, only to find that he leaves you on the sideline having fun with everyone else and forgetting that you are even there it is easy to see why you may be feeling a little neglected. You don’t necessarily want him constantly by your side, but it would be nice if he at least acknowledged you are there from time to time.


  1. He is always talking about other women. Sure, it’s ok to reference a female friend or co-worker in a story from time to time, but if you find that his conversations always seem to revolve around other women then it ranks right up there with his eyes wandering! Doesn’t he notice that he has a beautiful woman right in front of him?
  2. You feel as though he is hot and cold in your relationship. One day everything is going great, and the next it’s as if he is distant and not really there. If you find that he is inconsistent then he will leave you wondering about the future of your relationship.
  3. You notice that he engages with other women regularly on social media. Sure, platforms like Facebook and Twitter connect us with people in a way that was never available before, however, it also opens the door for a new way of flirting. If he is always liking and commenting on pictures of other women this can leave us questioning his intentions.


  1. He forgets to compliment you. After awhile you can fall into a routine in your relationship, taking one another for granted. If he has fallen into this trap and the compliments have died out you will start wondering if he is still attracted to you and if he appreciates what you bring to the relationship.
  2. He no longer shows an interest in you sexually. If your relationship started out all hot and heavy, and he suddenly seems to have lost all interest in you, then you begin to question whether he has moved on. A woman needs to feel desired!
  3. His closest friends all seem to be female. You don’t want to tell him that he can’t have close friends, and you don’t even necessarily have a problem with him spending time with other women but when you notice that the friends that he spends all his time and energy with are females you wonder just how close they actually are.


  1. He keeps talking about his ex. You understand that his ex played an important part in his relationship at one point, and may come up in a conversation, but if this continues to happen regularly then you can’t help but wonder if he isn’t ‘over her’ yet. Maybe he is still holding onto some deep, hidden feelings?
  2. When he says things like ‘Don’t Worry.’ There is no bigger red flag than when he feels the need to tell you there is nothing to worry about. If nothing was happening, he wouldn’t feel compelled to say anything, but instead, here he is trying to convince you that everything is ok.