Couples can be pretty weird these days, no doubt. But apparently, the grosser you are to each other the more in love you are. In that case, I guess I’ve found the one! What about you?

It is funny how awkward we all start out when we first begin dating someone. We are so self-conscious about what they are thinking, whether we’re doing it all right, and how we look. It’s funny because the same person you’re terrified to a cough in front of at the first, turns out to be the one plucking the ingrown hair out of your back. Weird isn’t it? Humans get close in a weird way; the closer we are, the more comfortable we get with each other. Which additionally means we get pretty weird sometimes – admit it; we all do some weird things with our significant others whether we like to admit it or not.

Being weird to each other shows a lot more than being comfortable with each other. It means that they are willing to do anything for each other as well. If your other is willing to pop the juicy whitehead on your shoulder and get shot in the face with it, doesn’t that say a lot? It also shows that you like to take care of each other. It takes a special kind of love to pick the chicken out of your SO’s teeth or get an ingrown hair out of their ass. Wouldn’t you agree?

If you are this comfortable with your significant other chances are you’re going to last a long time. It is so much more than just being comfortable with each other; it shows that you love each other regardless of looks, hygiene, and health. It shows that you don’t have to constantly try to impress each other. You can be yourself around them and still be loved. It’s an extremely nice thing to have. It’s what a life companion is all about.

Here are 40 gross things couples do but don’t talk about!

1. Checking each other’s noses for bogeys.
2. Checking their ears for wax.
3. Helping them get morning gunk out of their eye.
4. Squeezing their spot that’s in a hard to reach place.
5. Or squeezing one that’s not hard to reach, it just looks like fun.
6. Smelling each other’s armpits to check if they need a wash.
7. Smelling each other’s clothes to check if they need a wash.
8. Chatting to each other when one of you is having a wee.
9. Or if you’re really comfortable with each other, when one of you is having a poo.
10. Scraping the hair ball out of the shower drain, knowing it’s got a mix of both your pubes in it.
11. Weeing in the shower that you both share.
12. Getting in their old bath water and washing your hair even though they’ve washed their bum in there.
13. Sharing a towel.
14. Sharing a toothbrush when one of you forgets yours on holiday.
15. Sharing a flannel.
16. Wearing their old T-shirt because it smells like them and that makes you happy.
17. Checking their teeth for food.
18. Eating dessert from the same spoon.
19. Licking your finger and rubbing some food off their face.
20. Showing them your nipple hair.
21. Pulling out a weird hair you find growing on their back.
22. Checking out a painful thing on their bum cheek and confirming it’s a spot.
23. Squeezing the bum spot if you’re really close to each other and nothing scares you.
24. Examining their foot to see if it’s a verruca.
25. Examining their foot to see if the peeling skin could be athlete’s foot.
26. Examining a strange rash elsewhere on their body, then searching hideous rashes on Google together, and deciding it’s either eczema or fungal, then rubbing coconut oil on it because hopefully, that’ll help.
27. Cleaning up their sick when they’re too poorly/drunk to do it.
28. Kissing each other in the morning before you’ve brushed your teeth.
29. Having sex whether you’ve recently showered or not.
30. Helping them gouge out an in-grown hair.
31. Not flushing the toilet if it’s just a wee so you don’t waste water.
32. Leaving your nail clippings on the carpet, or on the side, in the bedroom you share.
33. Eating the chewing gum they just put in their mouth because it’s the last piece and they feel bad for taking it and want you to have it.
34. Shaving your pubes in front of each other.
35. Doing a stupid naked dance in front of each other.
36. Pulling your ugliest faces to impress each other.
37. Blowing out your belly to show them how bloated you are.
38. Wearing terrible, old underwear full of holes even when you’re seducing each other for sex.
39. Spending 12 hours on the sofa together in smelly old clothes, watching Netflix and eating junk food, and realizing you’ve never been more in love.
40. Getting the bats out of each other’s caves.