Researchers from one of the highest rated Ivy League schools in America may have answered one of the most important questions for humanity: how to raise good children. Of course, it took them a bit of time, and a lot of effort, however, their answers cover a wide range of issues that come up during parenthood.
1. Lead by Example
While many parents insist that children should “Do as I say, not as I do,” the researchers believe this to be wrong. Harvard researcher Richard Weissbourd, who works for the Making Caring Common project says,
“You set more of an example than anyone else in your child’s life,” says Weissbourd’s quiz. “When we as parents are busy and stressed, sometimes we forget to thank and appreciate these key people in our community, but ignoring people who help the community sends a message to your child that people around them are invisible or unimportant.”
So make sure you take the time to teach your children kindness, compassion, empathy, and about a hard work ethic. If you want your children to be successful and happy human beings, you must live this out yourself. While this isn’t something that will happen overnight, you can begin the transition now to find the best outcome for your little ones.
2. Spend Time With Your Children
In modern society, we are all constantly rushing about to get work done, to have a comfortable household, to pay the bills, make it to the doctor, play with new technology and squeeze in some rest from time to time. However, sometimes, you must put it all down, and focus on your children. Even if it means putting everything else on the backburner, you must do this. Your children will remember those times the most, instead of remembering what you bought for them.
3. Let Them Know You Care
While you may believe that your children are priority number one, due to the fact that they are, unless you tell your children this, they may not fully understand. Make it a point to find out what is going on in every aspect of their life. Ask them how they feel, what they need and what is taking place in the parts of their life you can’t be around for. It will make all the difference in the world.
4. Teach Your Children How to Handle Negative Feelings
Everyone, including children, experience intense and destructive emotions. Whether it be anger, depression, envy, etc., you must be a mentor for your children to understand what to do with such feelings. Explain to them that their feelings are valid and teach them how to cope with those feelings in a productive manner. For example, when you notice your child is overwhelmed, tell them to calm down. Instruct them to take deep breaths, and walk them through handling the situation correctly.
5. Help Your Child to Express Gratitude
According to various studies, people who express feelings of gratitude are oftentimes more likely to have compassion and to be forgiving of others. Not only that but being thankful for what you have will also increase your likeliness to be happy. Get into a routine of having your children write down what they are thankful for at night. Or, as a family, sit down and go in a circle stating what you are thankful for.
Teaching your children about their emotions, and how to interact with others plays a major role in aiding them in their journey to adulthood. Even the smallest deed can change everything. And while a lot of this may seem to be common sense, it is easy to get wrapped up in our own lives and forget what our children need. By simply being open with them and sharing your time with them, you can ensure that they grow up to be happy, successful and loving human beings.