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I have been through some really shitty relationships but my last one was the worst. He was abusive not physically but emotionally.

He was an emotional psychopath, to say the least. We are no longer together now but I still remember how hopeless things were with him. He used his words to tear me apart and when I left I had no self-worth, no hope, no dreams, my pride was shattered and I was nothing.

Emotional psychopaths are really good at coming across as normal and in most cases, you may not even realize you are being abused to the extent that you are. If you are in a relationship like the one I was in I advise you to get out while you can. Look for the signs below and pack your bags if he does these things. You deserve better.

1. He makes you think that everything is your fault.

He is always blaming you for things you cannot even control. He will say things that make it seem like he is being nice all the while making you feel worse and blaming you for things. For example, “I am not going to fight with you. I know you would not have ruined the evening if you could have helped it.”

2. Nothing is ever his fault.

No matter what he always blames you. If he fucks up it is still your fault. He will tell you that he did something because you made him mad because you are a bad partner because you always let bad things happen. Never because he is a douche.

3. He doesn’t want you to follow your dreams.

He wants you to give up your dreams. He is holding you back from getting where you want in life.

4. He gaslights you.

This is when an abuser makes up things and lies to make you feel insane. They will make you doubt your own memories and when you confront them things will get even worse.

5. He doesn’t want you to see your friends and family.

He doesn’t ‘like’ them. He wants you to stop seeing them or see them less. He cannot tolerate them getting in his way.

6. He acts like a jerk in front of those who care about you.

He does this because he knows he has you under his spell. He doesn’t care about your family and wants them gone anyway. You will constantly be having to make excuses for him.

7. He tears you down.

He wants to control you and in that he will make you feel awful about yourself. If you accomplish something, to him, it will not be worth noticing.

There are, of course, more signs than this but these are definitely the biggest red flags. If your man is trying to control you please kick him to the curb. You are worth so much more than he could ever have to offer you.