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Relationships can be difficult and complex, leaving us, at times, trying to decipher exactly where we stand with our partner. While some people are incredibly straight forward, clearly defining their relationship, others are highly vague in their communication, leaving us guessing.

Often the biggest heartbreak comes from a break down in communication between two people. One partner may believe the relationship is a committed and exclusive arrangement, while the other partner has been using labels like ‘dating’ or ‘seeing each other’ in order to avoid any type of significant commitment.

It is important to know where you stand in your relationship in order to establish realistic expectations. If you find that you are unable to settle for the level of commitment your partner is looking for, it may be time to look at whether you are willing to sacrifice your expectations, or that it may be time to move on.

Here are 8 different responses to watch out for that will help you to understand where you stand in your relationships:


  1. “We’re just friends.”

While this may not be the answer that you were hoping to receive, they are at least respecting you enough to give you a clear, solid answer as to where they see your relationship. They obviously value your friendship, and the odds are that you do as well. Are you willing to risk this friendship to see if it can be something more?


  1. “I’m not ready for anything serious right now.”

Your partner has some sort of commitment issues, but they are being honest with you about them. They don’t want to cut all relationship labels from the mix as they don’t want to completely let you go, however, they do want to have the freedom of being single, only being in a relationship when it is convenient for them. You need to decide whether you are happy in this type of casual relationship, or whether you need something more in your life.


  1. “We’re having fun.”

While there is more to your relationship than just a booty call or a one night stand, it is still incredibly vague and non-committal. You enjoy one another’s company, and genuinely have fun on this journey we call life, however, neither of you are interested in making this into anything serious too quickly. If you really are on the same page, just enjoy it for now!


  1. “I don’t want to mess up what we already have.”

There is definitely something between you, however, the question is whether it is anything serious or long lasting. You are likely in a fun loving, casual relationship, and based on this phrase your partner is genuinely enjoying this adventure with you, however, they may not see long-term potential. They would rather avoid the difficult conversation and just enjoy what you share today.


  1. “We’re dating.”

If your partner is willing to say that you are dating, but still refusing to use phrases like ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ then there is definitely something there, however, they likely don’t view this relationship as exclusive. They enjoy what you have right now, however they also want to keep their options open.


  1. “I really care about you so much.”

This phrase is often the start of some serious heartbreak. You have likely been together for a significant period of time, even seeing each other through some of life’s bigger challenges, however you have now hit a point in your lives where you are realizing that it just isn’t enough, and you’re missing ‘something’ to be able to take your relationship any further. You both know that you need to move on if you are going to find the ‘real thing’ but you hate the idea of ending something that has become so comfortable.


  1. “We’re buddies.”

This is a HUGE red flag in a relationship. Not only is your partner not willing to commit to any type of serious relationship, they are even avoiding going as far as using the term ‘friends.’ If they aren’t even seeing you as ‘friend’ status in their life, is this really someone you want to give your time, energy and attention to? You’d be better off finding someone worth your love!


  1. “Are you busy tonight?”

There is no point in even beating around the bush with this one. There is nothing serious, long-term or committed in your partner’s mind, you are there as a fun hookup, often free from any deep emotions or feelings. There is likely a surface level attraction, that’s what keeps you both coming back, but it is highly rooted in your sexual chemistry.