Love is something that can be fleeting at times. It slows down and in some cases, it gradually just disappears.
Sometimes you wake up and realize that the person you are with is not the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. This is no one’s fault. It is something we all seem to deal with at one point or another be it from the side of the lover or the one who loves no more.
I once came across the situation myself and the signs that he didn’t love me anymore were written all over his face, they screamed at me in between the words he wouldn’t speak. I was the one left torn apart. I had to deal with the aftermath all by myself. That being said I do not blame him for leaving, why would I want him to stay if I was no longer what he wanted in life?
I guess if I am going to explain this I should start from the beginning. He stopped showing affection towards me, we had not been intimate in months. I was lucky to get a kiss on the cheek when I was feeling down. This did not help things at all.
We argued about everything, mostly how he didn’t want to spend time with me and was distant no matter what I did in an attempt to ‘woo’ him. I was the person in the wrong, or so that was how it seemed. The person I was with just months ago was nowhere to be found, this person is much colder.
I should have seen this as my first sign that he no longer loved me but I was naive and I still loved him. I was blinded thinking we were just in a rough patch, that we would make it through. He stopped trying to work things out way before I decided to give up. I am not sure as to why he didn’t leave sooner, maybe he just didn’t know how?
Things got to the point where he would no longer respond when I tried to talk about the things going on. His lack of communication hurt. I felt as if I no longer existed to him, but I still did not realize the severity of my situation. Some of my friends would try to help make me aware but I was stuck in my way of thinking, everything would be okay.
My moment of realization came like a bullet from a shotgun head on. We were having a good day, for once. Spending a bit of time together he was in the living room and I walking to the kitchen. I told him I loved him, the first time I had the courage to speak those words in quite some time. He hesitated and then spoke the words he knew I wanted to hear.
That was when I knew it was over, I knew he was lying and hanging around for my sake. I could not do this to him, he should not be made to feel stuck. You see, saying I love you is something that should come easy and never feel forced. He knew I had noticed and we finally had the discussion that should have happened long ago.
He went his way and I went mine. We do not speak anymore, I have no idea how he is. If I were to see him on the street I would not know where to begin but I feel better now. I am content, I did not need him in the ways that I thought I did. I am much stronger now because he does not love me.
If you are the person who does not love your partner anymore please talk to them. Tell them what is going on. They deserve to know, you should never lead someone on in the way that this man did me. We could have ended things much sooner and saved ourselves so much trouble. If you respect your partner you will do what is right.
Staying with someone you do not love is not healthy. It is not good for you or the other person. You both deserve happiness and if you cannot find that in one another going your separate ways is exactly what you need.