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For many of us, bed time entails laying in the bed with our significant other as we scroll through our favorite social network feed. However, for other, more happy couples, laying in bed together is a sacred, shared time, in which love gains priority over anything else.

While it doesn’t make you a bad couple to not spend or share every waking moment with your partner, it is important to understand the messages we send to our partner. Everyone needs a moment to themselves, and we all have a weak moment in which we lose our focus and shift it elsewhere. However, for the most part, it is important to remember that a healthy, happy relationship takes maintenance and care. Part of that care involved spending time with your loved one, and making habits and rituals together as a couple.

1. They Laugh Together

It may sound simple enough, but couples that laugh and joke together at the end of the day are happier. Make it a point to engage your partner in conversation and laughter before bed.

2. They Snuggle

You don’t have to snuggle for hours on end (because, I mean, who in the hell can stand all that body heat all night long) but snuggling into the arms of your partner can provide a bond like no other.

3. No Kids Allowed

The bedroom is a sanctuary for adults that should be considered sacred. Of course, when you have children, there will be times when they enter the room to sleep with you because they are sick or scared. However, limit this to rare occasions and focus on making the bedroom an intimate zone between you and your partner.

4. They Cut off the Outside World

Intimate time is intimate time, not more time for us to scroll mindlessly through Facebook or Instagram. Make it a point to place your phone to the side, and show your partner that they are important to you.

5. They Go to Sleep Together

In some cases, this is not possible, due to varying work schedules. But, if you can, try to get your shut-eye at the same time as your partner. This shows that they are important to you, and that you share something quite deep with them.

6. They Say I Love You

At the end of the day, what truly matters are the people that you love and the time that you share with them. Make it a point to kiss your partner goodnight each day, and to tell them you love them.

7. They Make Sleep a Priority

When you and your partner go to bed, and say your goodnights, have your intimate time, and then snuggle up, you are making sleep a priority. In turn, you will have more energy for the next day.

“Although this isn’t very romantic, beyond the usual advice ― i.e. kiss goodnight, have sex, and say, ‘I love you’ ― getting a solid night’s sleep fosters good mental health, which in turn, makes people more emotionally available during the day. If sleep is hard to come by, get professional advice to develop good sleep habits.” ― Michele Weiner-Davis, therapist and author of Divorce Busting

8. They Are Thankful

Take a moment at the end of the day to talk about what you are grateful for, with your partner. While this may seem tedious, it proves to be an effective exercise in bringing happiness into a relationship.

9. They Don’t Bring Arguments to Bed

Handle the big arguments before ever entering into the bed. When you bring up a big fight that can’t be resolved quickly in the bed, you are risking a major fight. Both of you are tired and don’t have the energy to handle something of that magnitude. Instead, practice forgiveness and focus on the GOOD aspects of your love.

10. They Allow Themselves to Be Vulnerable

Happy couples can go to bed in the messiest of pajama clothing, and their hair all over the place with no makeup, because they know that their love is secure. Part of being in a relationship, is being yourself around your partner.