A narcissistic mother (or father) is one one of the worst things a child can be forced to deal with. Their offspring exist only to serve their selfish needs.
The following are red flags of a narcissistic mother and if you have ever dealt with one firsthand you will agree completely. If you are wondering if your mother is a narcissist then you may want to check for these things. Sadly these parents are completely unaware of what they are doing and see nothing wrong with how they treat their children.
1. She destroys your relationships.
She encourages disagreements even among your siblings as a means to gain more control. She seems to not want the children communicating except through her because she gets to decide what each of you really hears. She loves all the drama she gets to create in your life.
2. She blames you for everything that is not right in her life.
No matter what it is, it is your fault. You made her do it, you caused it. There is no way around it. Your sibling hits you and it is your fault for provoking him/her even if you didn’t. The blame is always on you.
3. No one’s feelings matter except hers.
She lacks empathy. She doesn’t think about anyone’s feelings but her own.
4. She is always right.
Even when she is wrong.
5. She projects.
She will put her own bad behavior or traits on you so that she can deny them herself and punish you.
6. She explodes, a lot.
Not in front of other people but in front of you.
7. She exploits you.
She may have even stolen your identity. She will only make agreements with you if it fits her needs and if she were to set a band account up for you, she would be your trustee, taking money out just as quick as you put it in.
8. She shoved you out of the nest as soon as she could.
As soon as she was able to shed her responsibility of you, she did, leaving you to care for yourself as best you could.
9. She is shameless.
She doesn’t ask but demands. She will take whatever she wants no matter what you say. No is not an option with her.
10. She is petty.
If you refuse to let her manipulate you she will cry and insist that because of this you do not love her.
11. She makes sure you are scared of her.
She uses fear to train you. She knows if you fear her she is in control.
12. She is defensive.
If you criticize her she will explode and often becomes violent.
13. She is self-absorbed.
She comes above everyone else. Her problems are more important than yours and her needs come before yours.
14. She uses your emotions against you.
She does and says things just to hurt you.
15. She is selfish.
She will always make sure that she has the best of everything but you, not so much. She doesn’t mind buying you thrift-store clothes but she wouldn’t be caught dead in them.
16. She has to be the center of attention all the time.
Literally all the time.
17. She lies all the time.
She will lie about anything, you can’t trust a word that comes out of her mouth.
18. She is jealous.
If you get something she wants she will ruin it for you or even get the same thing but better as a means to out do you. She will even forbid you to wear makeup as a means of making sure you are not prettier than her.
19. She will make you seem crazy.
This will happen when you try to confront her. This is called gaslighting and is a common form of abuse. It is a means of making your experience seem less valid.
20. She will make fun of you.
while she will pretend to be joking she is serious and you know it. She will belittle you in as many ways as she can think of.
21. She will take credit for all of your accomplishments.
She feels as though you are merely an extension of herself, therefore, anything that you accomplish is actually because of her.
22. She will pick favorites.
Chances are you won’t be the favorite.
23. She will not let you have personal space.
You have no belongings, everything is hers and your day is already planned out before you even wake up. Privacy is nonexistent.
24. She denies everything.
She says and does things in a way that makes it seem deniable. She will make it seem as if she only wants what is best for you when she only wants what is best for herself.
25. She sets unrealistic expectations for you.
She wants you to be an overachiever to the extreme. If you do not live up to her unrealistic expectations you will have hell to pay.
26. She is superior to everyone.
She does not treat you like a human being. She thinks of you as property and treats you as property. She has a sense of entitlement that is out of this world.