Life is a woman isn’t always easy – it’s messy, confusing and sometimes a downright disaster. Regardless of what may be going on, there is almost always a way to find humor in the situation! These tweets outline some of the best, worst and most hilarious moments of being a woman!
You Aren’t Going to Fool Us – You Aren’t Listening!
o yeah u love women??? name their last three albums. thought so. u don’t listen to women
— priya (@priya_ebooks) August 7, 2014
The Truth About Birth Control
Birth control pills are like cute little advent calendars for a really shitty holiday.
— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) April 18, 2013
No One Will Ever Explain The Deep Connection of Women Bonding
me after having a five minute conversation with a drunk girl im meeting for the first time pic.twitter.com/6mqisztYdh
— madison ??? (@motheromance) April 4, 2017
Seriously – We’ve Got Each Other’s Backs
Behind every strong woman is 5 other strong women who proofread her email real quick when they had a second
— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) April 25, 2016
Never Underestimate the Strength of a Woman
Since you dudes love guns, hunting, action movies, you think you’d respect women a bit more – we bleed for five days & don’t die from it.
— JEN KIRKMAN (@JenKirkman) June 30, 2017
We May Love Our Selfies, But Come On, It Could Be Worse…
You can complain all you want about women taking selfies; we aren’t the ones naming our children our own exact fucking names.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) May 25, 2016
There Are Times You Just KNOW What’s Coming
I overheard a guy saying to his girlfriend “are you ready to fucking rage” as they walked into target together and that’s what I want
— k8e (@kpfeffss) June 25, 2017
While There Are Times That We Are Apparently a Complete Mystery
If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission.
— SpookySandwich (@MarisaLange) November 19, 2014
We All Understand the Fear That is Fluorescent Lighting
Me: I look great today
Fluorescent lights: I can fix that.— shauna (@goldengateblond) February 8, 2016
But Really… Men Never Listen…
guys: women are a mystery.
women: Here is what we-
guys: LITERALLY WHAT DO THEY WANT?
women: well for start-
guys: Guess we’ll never know!— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) December 4, 2015
There Are Certain Style Expectations to Live Up to
are you even a girl if you don’t tell people you’re wearing jeans and a nice top ????
— ebony (@ebs_rose) June 19, 2016
We’re Expected to Always Look Our Best Somehow
The Venn diagram of men who say women take too long to get ready and men who ask if you’re sick when you’re not wearing makeup is a circle.
— Siobhan Thompson (@vornietom) November 20, 2014
At Least Style is Starting to Make More Sense in Some Ways
I can’t believe women used to have to wear shoulderpads, i’m so grateful menstruation moved to the vagina in the 90s.
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) September 1, 2014
And Sometimes We Just Want to Be Comfortable
me everytime pic.twitter.com/q5oH4UwfOb
— Lolita (@LolitaDrugs) September 11, 2016
Why is it That Women Never Get Pockets?
GOD: Let there be women
WOMEN: Cool
GOD: But no pockets
WOMEN: What?
GOD: Put your stuff in a bag lol
MEN: lol
GOD: lol— drewtoothpaste (@drewtoothpaste) April 7, 2016
We Are Forced to Carry Purses Everywhere We Go
I always feel like I’m forgetting something whenever I leave the house carrying less than like 9 purses full of garbage
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) July 16, 2015
It Really Isn’t Our Fault That They Hold Our Whole Lives!
“How do you find anything in here?!”
-my mugger, giving my purse back
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) October 21, 2015
There Are Times Our Opinions Would Be Helpful…
Focus group. This could have been avoided with 1 focus group (of women). pic.twitter.com/C76lv5ji33
— Jillian David (@JillianDavid13) July 3, 2017
But Really, What Do We Know About What Women Want?
Do men like being kicked in the sack? Women in new survey given after being shown this headline say yes. pic.twitter.com/pdKh5EWd2U
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 20, 2017
We Fight Inequality Every Day
Gender Inequality: A woman continues to have to do a LOT more than a man to get to the same position. pic.twitter.com/qDY8KOMT2U
— bollyglot gifs (@BollyglotGifs) October 13, 2015
Trying to Prove Ourselves Against Even the Craziest Judgements
When a man tells me he’s looking for a ‘real woman’ I scurry away because I’m actually three owls in a raincoat AND HE MUSTN’T FIND OUT.
— Aimee (@Mimiification) July 1, 2017
We Even Fight Judgement Among Ourselves
20 Things That Women Should Stop Wearing After The Age of 30
1-20: The weight of other people’s expectations & judgments
— maura quint (@behindyourback) June 3, 2015
But Don’t Mistake Us For the Weaker Sex
if you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side
— ㅤㅤㅤ (@pIayboigus) June 27, 2017
We’re Just a Little Awkward Sometimes
I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, b/c I didn’t immediately get out of his way as he was walking towards me & now he’s perplexed.
— Frankie (@phranqueigh) August 25, 2016
We’re Expected to Care About the Opinions of the Men Around Us
We asked 500 men what they look for in a woman and then set them adrift on a raft screaming, because just kidding who cares
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) October 1, 2015
But At Times We’ll Even Hold Back Our Own Opinions
Me: I know exactly where I want to eat
Inner me: Tell him you don’t know pic.twitter.com/Qephf9XNon
— Kermit (@InnerKermit) February 7, 2017
We Know How to Take Joy in the Little Things in Life
When you shave for the first time in months. pic.twitter.com/FkhhFrqHw3
— Amanda Mancino (@Manda_like_wine) January 8, 2016
We Are Perplexed By Some of Life’s More Difficult Decisions
How does the little mermaid decide which creatures are her friends and which ones are her bra
— Flora Flora ? (@Flora__Flora) June 29, 2017
And Like to Keep Our Options Open
Beauty & the Beast review
1. I’d fuck Gaston
2. I’d fuck the Beast
3. I have not had sex in a very long time
4. I will fuck the kettle— Deirdre (@figgled) May 6, 2017
But Really, The Pockets….
*at my funeral*
Friend crying over my casket: look they’re burying her in her favorite dress
Me, still dead: it haaasss pockets— maura quint (@behindyourback) July 3, 2017