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We all remember the early days of our relationship when our spouse was dying for our attention – putting their best foot forward while making us feel loved, appreciated and sought after. That feeling that someone would go to such lengths to attract our attention is an extreme ego boost, putting a smile on our face and a skip in our step.

After we get married, this part of our relationship is often forgotten about. Many relationships fall, too quickly, into the monotony of day to day living, taking one another for granted and losing the ‘spark’ that once kept our relationships exciting and fun.

Settling into daily lives together, couples may find that they begin to take one another for granted. Their life becomes routine and predictable, they know that their spouse has chosen them, and ultimately, they stop pursuing their partner. In time this can cause individuals to begin to doubt their relationships, feeling as though their partner is no longer attracted to them. They may feel as though their partner has lost interest, or even that they may be losing their partner entirely as they look for something newer, younger, sexier or more ‘fun.’

The trick, relationship experts state, to a healthy and long-lasting relationship is in our ability to continue to flirt with our spouse. This doesn’t mean big, elaborate and over the top gestures – focus on the daily ways that you can show your spouse that you are interested in them, holding onto the love you felt for one another early on.

Not sure where to start? Here are 12 ways to flirt with your spouse:

  1. Kiss Hello and Goodbye

This is a routine that, if you can get into the habit of it, will always help to keep your relationship fresh and connected. Every time that you say hello or goodbye – be it for just a few minutes or for a few days – take the time out of your day to kiss your partner and show them how much they mean to you.


  1. Communication is Key

Rather than allowing your day to be dominated by the television and your computer screen, take the time to have a real conversation with your spouse each day. This can be done while you are out walking the dogs, or even just sitting back over a glass of wine.


  1. Eye Contact

When you are around your spouse, whether out in public running errands or in the comfort of your own home, make a point of making eye contact when you are speaking. This shows that you are genuinely paying attention and that you truly care for them.


  1. Tell a Joke

Humor is a great way to lighten the mood, reduce the stress of your daily lives and share something fun together as a couple. Attempt to lighten the mood occasionally with a quick joke, and always be sure to laugh at your partner’s jokes!


  1. Show Interest

If your spouse is attempting to talk to you, take the time to stop what you are doing long enough to pay attention. You chose this person to spend your life with, the least you can do is give them a couple moments of your undivided attention each day.


  1. Clean Up a Bit

It can be easy to fall into the old habit that you no longer need to work to impress your spouse, however, if you completely let yourself go it can definitely be a turn-off! Don’t forget to pay attention to basic cleanliness like taking a bath, brushing your teeth and styling your hair.

  1. Put on Something Special

Every now and then take the time to select an outfit for the sole purpose of bringing a smile to your spouse’s face. Think back to when you were dating – you likely chose your outfits knowing what your partner found attractive at one time or another. While you don’t have to dress up every day, keep this n mind occasionally for a special occasion or a date night.


  1. Compliment Your Partner

This goes back to the idea that your partner wants to feel loved and sought after. Take the time to tell your partner what attracts you to them. This includes not only while in public but also take the time to compliment them in private as well, it will show that you aren’t just doing so in front of others to keep up appearances.


  1. Physical Touch

Touch is a very important and intimate part of a relationship. This doesn’t just refer to sex, in fact, the smaller, more subtle elements of touch can have an important impact on your connection with one another such as hugging or simply brushing against one another when you are standing close.


  1. Send a Cute Text

We have all the technology in the world at our fingertips, so why not use it. Taking the few seconds out of your day to send a cute text message such as ‘thinking about you’ or ‘just wanted to tell you that I love you’ can really make your partner’s day.


  1. Snuggle More Often

When you were dating, you couldn’t get enough of one another. Try to rekindle this feeling in your marriage today. If you’re watching TV, take the opportunity to snuggle up on the couch. Sit closer together when you’re relaxing around a bonfire or just chilling at home. Bonus – it will help to keep you warm on a cold day!


  1. Hold Hands

Sure, it sounds like something you would only picture in that cute little couple that just started dating, skipping around in the rose-colored glasses stage, but holding hands is a great way to boost your overall connection with one another. Next time you are walking through the parking lot or heading into the mall reach out and grab onto your partner’s hand affectionately.