Skip to main content

I have been in quite a few toxic relationships throughout my life so far. These were all experiences that left me wondering what it was I had done wrong.

At first, I assumed there was nothing I had done wrong, and that it was all his fault. However, the more I thought about it the more I realized I was going about these relationships in all the wrong ways. I had been doing things the whole time that caused toxic men to be more attracted to me. Take a look at the list below to find out what I was doing wrong, maybe you can learn from my mistakes before you make your own.

1. I always gave them the benefit of the doubt.

I am always trying to see the good in people and every time a toxic guy came into my life I gave them the benefit of the doubt. Even if their stories seemed far fetched, I believed them. I was always far too willing to compromise and they never did the same for me.

2. I didn’t listen to warnings from my friends.

On a few occasions, my friends would try to warn me about a guy before I got serious with him, but I liked him so I gave things a try anyway. I should have listened to my friends, they were only trying to look out for me.

3. I was too nice.

I let them walk all over me. I would say it was fine when something happened even if it wasn’t. I should have spoken my mind a little bit more often.

4. I drug the relationship out for too long.

I would stay in the relationship knowing it wasn’t going anywhere.

5. I did not value myself enough.

I didn’t have any love for myself and my confidence was down the drain. This made me a good target.

6. I was too easygoing.

I wouldn’t make demands in the relationship, even if they were reasonable. I always went with the flow and let the guy take control of the relationship. Relationships are supposed to be equal parts, not one controlling the other.

7. I never set any healthy boundaries.

I gave far too much and asked for nothing in return.

8. I was a fixer.

I wanted to change them. I wanted to make them into better people but I did not realize you cannot change someone who is not ready for change. Only they can change themselves when they are ready.

9. I was too empathetic.

I would always feel bad for them when they would give me their sob stories. I let them play with my emotions and that was a huge mistake.