There is no greater feeling than that of finding that one special person and falling head over heels in love. The romance and passion is unmatched in any other part of our lives.
What, then, can cause a woman to walk away from the very relationship that brought them such feelings of joy and acceptance? Ending a marriage, or walking away from a serious relationship, are not easy decisions. Often the hardest choice that a man will make in her life, it is not one to be taken lightly. What then causes women to make the decision?
They Need Your Attention and Adoration
For anyone, man or woman, to feel happy in a relationship they need to know that their partner cares for them deeply and intensely. That feeling of adoration early in the relationship, when you couldn’t take your eyes off her, happily jumping to open every door and pull out her chair. The need to hold her hand in public and declare your love for her whenever the opportunity should present itself. She NEEDS that attention.
When one partner begins to distance themselves, or drift away from the other, that is the beginning of the end for any relationship. This distance often leaves the remaining partner feeling unloved or taken advantage of.
This feeling of being ‘unloved’ is very hard on one’s confidence and self-worth. Eventually it reaches a time when it is healthier to walk away and preserve their own mental and emotional health than to continue fighting for the relationship.
Realization of What They Deserve
It may be that your relationship was already over a long time ago. Maybe you just stayed together out of convenience – You each got just enough out of the relationship to make it worth sticking around, and it was easier to stay together than make the effort to go your separate ways.
There will come a time in a woman’s life when she has her eyes opened to what she deserves in a relationship. Whether its watching her favourite chick flick, or speaking with her girlfriends, something will cause that switch to flip. At that point she isn’t leaving you, you were already gone!
You both knew this was over a long time ago, but she is done settling for her current ‘norm’. She may be ready to get out there and find someone who will give her the passion and attention that she craves. She may also come to the conclusion that she is better of alone, focusing on her own happiness and well being.
What Can Men Do to Keep the Relationship Alive?
While the rate of divorce is higher than ever, there are steps you can take to keep work towards a happy, healthy and long lasting relationship. This isn’t to say that there aren’t also steps your partner can take, this is a two way street, and both parties have to put in the effort! Remember a relationship is like a living entity – you need to nurture and care for it in order for it to grow and thrive!
Make Her Feel Wanted
Women want to know they are wanted in a relationship. If you are giving your attention to everything else in your life – your phone, your job, your favorite sports team – and not to your partner, she is going to be left in the cold, feeling as though she is not important to you.
Take the time to turn off the television, put down the phone, and focus directly on her. Ask her questions about her day, and not just to ask the question, but genuinely listen to the answers. Did she tell you about something a few days ago that she was excited for? Bring it up, show her that you were paying attention to her!
It is easy to take the relationship for granted – don’t fall into that trap! Little gestures will go a long way. Write that cute little love note and slip it into her lunch bag before work, or send her a text message out of the blue simply to tell her that you love her. This will make her feel loved and appreciated, and far more secure in your relationship.
Practice Healthy Communication
When problems exist in a relationship it is often easy to jump to anger and resentment. Tempers flare, and arguments arise quickly and overly heated. At these times, there is nothing being accomplished to maintain your relationship, you are driving each other further away!
Take a step back, remember why you love the woman in front of you, and attempt to communicate with her in a respectful and loving way. It is ok to have problems or concerns, and it is equally ok to share these with your partner! It is how it is done that determines whether it will strengthen your relationship or push you further apart.
Keep the Energy Alive
After a period of time together may relationships fall into a routine. It is easy to start giving up dinners out for pizza in front of the television, or to feel that you don’t need to make the effort to dress up for her because ‘you’ve already got her’. To keep the passion in your relationship you need to make an effort to keep that fire alive and burning.
Take her out to dinner, but not just to the local fast food joint. Surprise her by telling her to get dressed up, pull out your favourite suit and really take her out to dinner. This doesn’t need to be an every week move, but taking the time to make a grand gesture from time to time will keep your relationship alive!
Do you both have a weekend off in the coming months? Plan a weekend getaway! You don’t need to go jet setting to Paris, its about the time together and not where you are going. Look into what bed and breakfasts are in your area and keep it local. A stay-cation may be just what your relationship needs right now! This will give you both the time and energy to focus that weekend on you, your relationship and your communication. This can serve as a reminder as to why you fell in love to begin with!
Relationships are challenging, full of many hills and valleys. If you want to stand the test of time you need to stand up and be an active participant. Grab the reigns, take control and fight for what is yours! Even the smallest of gestures will go a LONG way to a happy and healthy life together!