You may not miss her now but you will. It won’t happen overnight but over time you will think about her almost daily.
You will feel an empty space in your heart and you will hate yourself for having caused it. You thought letting her go was gonna be easy and that things were going to be better for you that way. Are they?
You thought that you would be able to cut ties and leave things as they were but you hate it. You miss her and you fucked things up so bad that you can’t do anything about it. You were happy at first, ready to jump the bones of any girl willing to drop her panties for you. You found great pleasure in being single, having fun, doing whatever you wanted to do. You threw all of your responsibilities away.
You stopped having fun and that high you were getting disappeared. You realized far too late what you had done, you miss her. You miss her smile, her embrace, her everything. It crashed into you like a ton of bricks and made you fall to your knees. You lost your safety blanket, the one person you could come crawling to when things got bad.
You know now that you should have never said goodbye but you ruined everything and she is done with you. You were afraid to commit, you thought having fun was more fulfilling than being in love, you ran away. She loved you as best she could and you ran away. You broke her heart into a million little pieces and stomped all over every single one. She has moved on and is over you, you’re just starting to be hung up on her.
You will live the rest of your life knowing you cannot have her, whether you end up moving on or not. There will always be a smudge on your heart. You were loved by someone more than anything else in this world and you gave it all away. You will kill yourself inside every single day knowing that and you deserve every bit of the pain.
This was your choice, this is where you wanted to be, you deserve nothing less than what you are feeling right now. There is no reason to feel sorry for yourself for something you caused. She deserved better and now she has better. You have no one to blame but yourself. She was not suffocating you, she was loving you. You strangled the life out of her and she still was able to find happiness in the end. The only downside to the pain you feel is that in time it will diminish.